I love to read the OffBeat Blogs every morning after checking my email (I became obsessed while planning my own OffBeat wedding). This morning I found an amazing article on the OffBeat Home and Life blog written by Mallory Carlson. It’s about her fear of failure and success as an artist, and I can definitely relate. This is one of my favorite quotes because it points out how silly our fear really is:
“Fear is nothing more than an instinctual response to perceived danger. But, unless that life drawing session is filled with rabid velociraptors, there isn’t any real danger. I needed to change the only thing I could control: how I responded to it.”
Read the whole article, “Killing My Potential: I Have a Fear of Success”
When I was first starting this art journey I was afraid of everything. I was afraid of talking to gallery owners, I was afraid people would hate my work, I was afraid I would appear unprofessional in some way, I was afraid that I would promise too much to someone and not be able to deliver. I was afraid of failing, but I was also afraid of succeeding. I was talking to my husband one and night and I confessed that I had a fear of success. He asked me how I could be afraid of that and I told him that I was scared I would take on too much and not be able to keep up with the demands. That I would agree to too much and that things would spiral out of control and I’d drop the ball on something important. Basically I was afraid of succeeding so much that I’d fail. I know. I’m a mess. Two years and four months into this journey I’m still afraid of things. I still get nervous and worry, but I try to not let it affect what I attempt. I freaked out before I attended my first open call art show and I was only one out of 100 artists, and now I’m able to put on a solo show by myself. I was still nervous beforehand, but I knew that the nerves wouldn’t kill me. I confront my fear by constantly pushing myself to try something new, something bigger, something different. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like I’m “succeeding” but hopefully I won’t be afraid if I do.